Wednesday, September 16, 2009
La nourriture pour la pensée (Food for thought en Francais)
HHHEEELLLOOO!!!!! Feel like it's been forever since I posted last. It's been quite a challenge adjusting to a heavier course load and working full time but I'm maintaining. I came across yet another motivational quote. Don't remember where I saw it first and/or who it was written by. Read it, enjoy it and most importantly apply it to your lives! "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for".
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sable's In HD!
Hi All,
I'm taking a break from my usual postings of random observations of life, love and everything in between to bring to you a post about one of my newest loves...makeup!!! I love love love makeup!!! I confess I live on makeup blogs while I'm at work and purchase at least one beauty product weekly. It's borderline obsession (I know). I came across a review for MUFE HD (Make Up For Ever High Definition) foundation on one of my fave makeup blogs, Scandalous Beauty. The reviews on this blog are usually on point and I'm a fan of the MUFE line so I decided to give it a go.
Just to give you some background, it's an oil-free formula that offers medium to full coverage. It was designed to look invisible on camera (hence the name) but is perfectly fine for everyday use. I went to a local Sephora and had an MA (makeup artist) help me find my shade. She applied it to my skin and it blended effortlessly and felt incredibly light. I was so moved by the foundation, I decided to get the HD transluscent powder and concealer too! (I'm a mess, I know).
I haven't applied the foundation on my own since I haven't had much time to play with my face these days and quite frankly? That purchase set me back some change so can't be too generous with the applications! I'm sure an opportunity to get done up will come up over the weekend as usual. I'll be sure to have a more personal review then. AND I know you spied the pic of the bottle of foundation I posted? Fancy right? I know!
XOXO,
Sable
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Things That Make You Go Hmmm...
Hi All!
I came across this article while cleaning out my Inbox that a very good friend (hey girl!) sent to me some time ago. Since caring is sharing..well? I had to share it with you! It's a bit long but worth the read!
10 Ways to Marry the Wrong Person by Rabbi HellerShare
By Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a “statistic,” try to internalize 10 insights.
1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after your married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don’t get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after their married…for the worst!” So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the “I’m in love” syndrome. “I’m in love often means, “I’m in lust.” Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person’s character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for: Humility: Does this person believe that “doing the right thing” is more important than personal comfort? Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn’t have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he’s going to do? Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
3. You pick the wrong person because you dont understand each others needs.
Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn’t get it. Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved. —To feel that she is the most important person in her husband’s life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent is Judaism’s approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men are goal oriented, especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, “Men have two speeds: on and off.” Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.
4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: a) Chemistry and compatibility b) share common interests c) share common life goal. Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re living for while you are single—and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal mate…. two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.
5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly.
Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to “test drive” in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.
6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection.
To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: “Do I respect and admire this person?” This does not mean, “Am I impressed by this person?” We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: “Do I trust this person?” This also means, “Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?
7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe.
Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person.? Does this person make me feel good? Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is tying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestions.” A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.
8. You pick the wrong person because you don’t put everything on the table.
Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromised that work for both of you? This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t be intimate. The two go hand in hand.
9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems.
If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single.
10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle.
To be “triangulated” means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn’t separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You’ll not be their number one priority. And that’s not basis for a marriage.
I came across this article while cleaning out my Inbox that a very good friend (hey girl!) sent to me some time ago. Since caring is sharing..well? I had to share it with you! It's a bit long but worth the read!
10 Ways to Marry the Wrong Person by Rabbi HellerShare
By Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a “statistic,” try to internalize 10 insights.
1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after your married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don’t get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after their married…for the worst!” So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the “I’m in love” syndrome. “I’m in love often means, “I’m in lust.” Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person’s character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for: Humility: Does this person believe that “doing the right thing” is more important than personal comfort? Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn’t have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he’s going to do? Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
3. You pick the wrong person because you dont understand each others needs.
Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn’t get it. Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved. —To feel that she is the most important person in her husband’s life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent is Judaism’s approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men are goal oriented, especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, “Men have two speeds: on and off.” Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.
4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: a) Chemistry and compatibility b) share common interests c) share common life goal. Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re living for while you are single—and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal mate…. two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.
5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly.
Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to “test drive” in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.
6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection.
To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: “Do I respect and admire this person?” This does not mean, “Am I impressed by this person?” We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: “Do I trust this person?” This also means, “Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?
7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe.
Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person.? Does this person make me feel good? Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is tying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestions.” A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.
8. You pick the wrong person because you don’t put everything on the table.
Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromised that work for both of you? This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t be intimate. The two go hand in hand.
9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems.
If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single.
10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle.
To be “triangulated” means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn’t separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You’ll not be their number one priority. And that’s not basis for a marriage.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Food For Thought
Some words of wisdom from one of my fave blogs SSSS! Chew on this....
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
Friday, August 14, 2009
Anti-Facebook: The Movement
Hi All,
I'm on a ROLL! Two posts in one week?! This is major! (LOL). Don't get too used to this, slow posting will resume in the next few weeks since my boss will be back from vacay and the fall semester will commence. I digress! Anyone who knows Sable is well aware of my strong DISLIKE for Facebook and all other forms of online social networking...and if you didn't know...now you know! Quite frankly, I think it's trivial and super intrusive. There, I said it! I don't need to re-connect with old classmates. Truth be told, if it is meant for us to cross paths again...honestly? WE WILL! AND NO! I don't want to log on to view your latest vacay pics, pics of the kids, pics of you and your man, pics of you at the concert. NO! NO! NO! If I get one more invitation to join to view someone's DANG pictures, I'm going to SCREAM! AHHHH!!!! Doesn't anyone print pictures anymore? (Sorry I'm old school) I also CRAVE privacy! I don't need everyone knowing my every whereabout, what I ate for dinner last night or who I'm dating. Somethings are better left private. Haha! I say all this to say, I was lurking on my favorite blogs and came across a hilarious Youtube video about what? Yours trully...Facebook! AS IF, I needed another reason to NEVER EVER join. Check this out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cy94-MgpVE&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbossip%2Ecom%2Fpage%2F4%2F&feature=player_embedded
I'm on a ROLL! Two posts in one week?! This is major! (LOL). Don't get too used to this, slow posting will resume in the next few weeks since my boss will be back from vacay and the fall semester will commence. I digress! Anyone who knows Sable is well aware of my strong DISLIKE for Facebook and all other forms of online social networking...and if you didn't know...now you know! Quite frankly, I think it's trivial and super intrusive. There, I said it! I don't need to re-connect with old classmates. Truth be told, if it is meant for us to cross paths again...honestly? WE WILL! AND NO! I don't want to log on to view your latest vacay pics, pics of the kids, pics of you and your man, pics of you at the concert. NO! NO! NO! If I get one more invitation to join to view someone's DANG pictures, I'm going to SCREAM! AHHHH!!!! Doesn't anyone print pictures anymore? (Sorry I'm old school) I also CRAVE privacy! I don't need everyone knowing my every whereabout, what I ate for dinner last night or who I'm dating. Somethings are better left private. Haha! I say all this to say, I was lurking on my favorite blogs and came across a hilarious Youtube video about what? Yours trully...Facebook! AS IF, I needed another reason to NEVER EVER join. Check this out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cy94-MgpVE&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbossip%2Ecom%2Fpage%2F4%2F&feature=player_embedded
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Jawn Of The Day 1.0
If you grew up in the 90s like me, you can remember rocking out to a Toni Braxton tune or two. I was in Rite Aid sometime ago when I nearly lost my mind when "Why Should I Care?" came on the radio. Okay, I didn't quite lose my mind...just got a little bit excited and nostalgic. Thankfully, I haven't had to dedicate this song to anyone...but it still brings about a care-free 'I don't give an "F" ' vibe that totally makes me just want to say "screw you and you AND you" and get in my virtual convertible and....DRIVE! I tried posting the video for your viewing and listening pleasure but Sable is not that tech savvy yet (bare with me). I have the link though (YAY!) So get in your virtual droptop and rock out with me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9wWNyhCls8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9wWNyhCls8
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thug Motivation
Hi All,
Contrary to the subject title, this post is not an ode to Jeezy (although I must say, I'm secretly a fan...shhhh). I was lurking on one of my favorite blogs Single Sisters Speak Out and came across a GREAT post. I know it's been said 50 11 times but WE'VE GOT TO DO BETTER PEOPLE! Check it out...
http://singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com/
Contrary to the subject title, this post is not an ode to Jeezy (although I must say, I'm secretly a fan...shhhh). I was lurking on one of my favorite blogs Single Sisters Speak Out and came across a GREAT post. I know it's been said 50 11 times but WE'VE GOT TO DO BETTER PEOPLE! Check it out...
http://singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com/
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Give Too Much Syndrome (GTMS)
Hey All,
It’s been a while since Sable has “said” much. We’ve finally been having wonderful summer weather in the NYC so can you blame me for being out and enjoying it?! (Rhetorical question) I digress! Have no fear Sable is here, YAY! I had dinner with my sis and a mutual friend visiting from FL some time ago (shout out to both of yous if you’re reading haha) As usual, the conversation drifted toward relationships which got Sable to thinking about a disease affecting women at an alarming rate. HIV? Herpes? HPV? None of the above. GIVE TOO MUCH SYNDROME (GTMS).
What is GTMS? How do you get it? Most importantly, how can you get rid of it? GTMS is a psychological malady that can affect women in romantic relationships of all ages. It usually manifests itself in the female psyche shortly after the woman has reached a level of comfort in her relationship. GTMS gradually takes over the female mind to the point where everything she does and says revolves around her relationship. She will no longer exhibit interests in any of her old hobbies, she constantly puts the needs/wants of her spouse ahead of her own and often refers to herself as "we" and not "I". WTF? Disturbing, I know!
Relax ladies, GTMS is curable and you don't have to compromise your relationship in the process! No pills! No rituals! No expensive therapy sessions! Just be yourself and maintain yourself. That means get out there and do the things "YOU" love, consider what "YOU" need and want first and foremost, and last but not least remember that you are "YOU".
Sable,
XOXO
It’s been a while since Sable has “said” much. We’ve finally been having wonderful summer weather in the NYC so can you blame me for being out and enjoying it?! (Rhetorical question) I digress! Have no fear Sable is here, YAY! I had dinner with my sis and a mutual friend visiting from FL some time ago (shout out to both of yous if you’re reading haha) As usual, the conversation drifted toward relationships which got Sable to thinking about a disease affecting women at an alarming rate. HIV? Herpes? HPV? None of the above. GIVE TOO MUCH SYNDROME (GTMS).
What is GTMS? How do you get it? Most importantly, how can you get rid of it? GTMS is a psychological malady that can affect women in romantic relationships of all ages. It usually manifests itself in the female psyche shortly after the woman has reached a level of comfort in her relationship. GTMS gradually takes over the female mind to the point where everything she does and says revolves around her relationship. She will no longer exhibit interests in any of her old hobbies, she constantly puts the needs/wants of her spouse ahead of her own and often refers to herself as "we" and not "I". WTF? Disturbing, I know!
Relax ladies, GTMS is curable and you don't have to compromise your relationship in the process! No pills! No rituals! No expensive therapy sessions! Just be yourself and maintain yourself. That means get out there and do the things "YOU" love, consider what "YOU" need and want first and foremost, and last but not least remember that you are "YOU".
Sable,
XOXO
Monday, June 22, 2009
No Love In This Club
I think it's safe to say I'm officially over clubbing! No, really! Let's take a trip down Sable memory lane and rewind to my most recent club outting this past weekend. If you live anywhere on the East Coast, it's probably been raining almost everyday in your city for the past I don't know? FOREVER! Needless to say I had a long week and felt the need to brave the rain and go party. I called up one of my BFFs (who always seems to know where the party is) and lo and behold found a birthday party to go to. As if massive fatigue, uncooperative hair and car trouble weren't enough to signal I should stay home, I took a power nap, decided to pull my hair back up and cabbed it to the party anyway.
We arrived to the club (two plus hours later than we originally inteneded to get there) and there is a cover (DRAT). Thankfully the cover was reasonable and BFF's homegirl reserved a table with lots of bottles so we paid and went in. The music was good, likka was abundant and we're dancing, having a good time. Somewhere between dancing and getting elbowed one too many times...I start to get annoyed, really annoyed (like all the times I've been to a club as of late). I sat out for a bit and couldn't help but wonder why I came out in the first place? Am I simply getting older or are clubs just extra lame these days? While I do realize I am getting older and some (many) trivial things no longer excite me, let's acknowledge just how lame clubs are while I highlight some of my experiences/observations/turn offs of the night. AHEM!
1. DARKNESS- I know clubs are supposed to be dark but it was way too dark in there...like cave dark. What kind of freaks of nature are hiding out in this piece? So of course, any thoughts of meeting anyone new was out the window and flushed down the toilet. Not that you can't meet wonderful men and women at a club (on the 29th day of February when it's a full moon and the high temperature of the day was 95 degrees), but it's dark and people are usually drunk. How can you be sure of what you're getting? I'm sorry I like to meet sober people in natural lights and settings. Thank you!
2. COVER CHARGES/AND ASTRONOMICALLY PRICED DRINKS-I'll let this club slide this time because the cover charge was very reasonable. BUT why oh why should I stand on a long line and pay you $20-30 of my hard earned money to get into your club? AND THEN spend another $20-30 on your overpriced drinks? Still thinking? There's no good reason.
3. CROWDING- If there's anything I loathe (more than shower curtains) it's crowds! I crave personal space. I need it! So naturally being too close to sweaty strangers makes me uncomfortable, very uncomfortable! Which brings me to the next complaint...
4. SPILLED DRINKS/GUM- I almost managed to get splashed by at least one drink by some drunk ninja or betch who shouldn't be having any more drinks anyway. AND I was too through when I noticed a fresh wad of gum on the front of my adorable new dress. I was sober and would have noticed if someone deliberately placed it there which leads to believe it fell out of some creature's mouth (while they were probably too close to me and intoxicated) and landed on my dress. YUCK!
5. SERIAL TEXTERS-Dude it's late and you're in a club! What could be so important that you're typing away feverishly on your phone? Stop playing, we know you're trying to break your record on Brick Builder. LAME! You could have stayed home for that!
6. WACK PEOPLE OVERALL- By no means am I calling all people who go to clubs wack. After all, I frequent a club or two every blue moon and if you're lucky you may be able to meet some cool people there. BUT for the unlucky majority, clubs bring out the wackest of wack, not entirely but mostly MEN!
We have the wannabe flossers. I don't care if you're draped head to toe in Louis or you just dropped a G at the bar. You don't look fly, you look stupid! That's right. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! After all the loudest ones in the room are the weakest ones in the room. Stop trying to prove yourself to everybody since most people could care less!
Then we have the DL guys. I am by no means homophobic or have anything against homosexual people...male or female. I think they're great! BUT please aknowledge who and what you are. Don't come to the club and openly put your arms around your boys neck (repeatedly) and try to holla. You're gay, get over it!
Next we have the vertically challenged guys. When did our men start shrinking? I'm a short woman myself and kudos to the other short women who dig short men. BUT you have to be a certain height to ride this ride. I like to be able to look up to my man even with heels on. Am I wrong? I seriously think something is in the water these days because men are not growing past 5'5". What gives? Eat some vegetables and grow up, literally!
Last we have your can't take a hint, just straight up wacker than wack guys. My BFF had the pleasure of being courted by an extra special specimen who felt it was appropriate to tell her he just finished serving a seven year jail sentence a couple months ago within minutes of meeting. Don't be too hard on him, he claims it was a case of mistaken identity. RIGHT?! Kudos again to women who can date men who are in or have been to jail. Yes, I do believe people change. BUT not in this case...you're automatically not trustworthy in my eyes, PERIOD! I'm sorry if that makes me a horrible, judgemental person. Don't blame me, blame the the society we live in.
So I think Sable will just be saying NO to clubs and lounges (b/c lounges are also the new clubs) from now on. Call me if there is a great house party or any other intimate event going on where I can see people in natural light and not have to shout over loud music, pay a cover charge, or not get a drink or gum splattered on me or have to deal with anything suggestive of a club.
We arrived to the club (two plus hours later than we originally inteneded to get there) and there is a cover (DRAT). Thankfully the cover was reasonable and BFF's homegirl reserved a table with lots of bottles so we paid and went in. The music was good, likka was abundant and we're dancing, having a good time. Somewhere between dancing and getting elbowed one too many times...I start to get annoyed, really annoyed (like all the times I've been to a club as of late). I sat out for a bit and couldn't help but wonder why I came out in the first place? Am I simply getting older or are clubs just extra lame these days? While I do realize I am getting older and some (many) trivial things no longer excite me, let's acknowledge just how lame clubs are while I highlight some of my experiences/observations/turn offs of the night. AHEM!
1. DARKNESS- I know clubs are supposed to be dark but it was way too dark in there...like cave dark. What kind of freaks of nature are hiding out in this piece? So of course, any thoughts of meeting anyone new was out the window and flushed down the toilet. Not that you can't meet wonderful men and women at a club (on the 29th day of February when it's a full moon and the high temperature of the day was 95 degrees), but it's dark and people are usually drunk. How can you be sure of what you're getting? I'm sorry I like to meet sober people in natural lights and settings. Thank you!
2. COVER CHARGES/AND ASTRONOMICALLY PRICED DRINKS-I'll let this club slide this time because the cover charge was very reasonable. BUT why oh why should I stand on a long line and pay you $20-30 of my hard earned money to get into your club? AND THEN spend another $20-30 on your overpriced drinks? Still thinking? There's no good reason.
3. CROWDING- If there's anything I loathe (more than shower curtains) it's crowds! I crave personal space. I need it! So naturally being too close to sweaty strangers makes me uncomfortable, very uncomfortable! Which brings me to the next complaint...
4. SPILLED DRINKS/GUM- I almost managed to get splashed by at least one drink by some drunk ninja or betch who shouldn't be having any more drinks anyway. AND I was too through when I noticed a fresh wad of gum on the front of my adorable new dress. I was sober and would have noticed if someone deliberately placed it there which leads to believe it fell out of some creature's mouth (while they were probably too close to me and intoxicated) and landed on my dress. YUCK!
5. SERIAL TEXTERS-Dude it's late and you're in a club! What could be so important that you're typing away feverishly on your phone? Stop playing, we know you're trying to break your record on Brick Builder. LAME! You could have stayed home for that!
6. WACK PEOPLE OVERALL- By no means am I calling all people who go to clubs wack. After all, I frequent a club or two every blue moon and if you're lucky you may be able to meet some cool people there. BUT for the unlucky majority, clubs bring out the wackest of wack, not entirely but mostly MEN!
We have the wannabe flossers. I don't care if you're draped head to toe in Louis or you just dropped a G at the bar. You don't look fly, you look stupid! That's right. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! After all the loudest ones in the room are the weakest ones in the room. Stop trying to prove yourself to everybody since most people could care less!
Then we have the DL guys. I am by no means homophobic or have anything against homosexual people...male or female. I think they're great! BUT please aknowledge who and what you are. Don't come to the club and openly put your arms around your boys neck (repeatedly) and try to holla. You're gay, get over it!
Next we have the vertically challenged guys. When did our men start shrinking? I'm a short woman myself and kudos to the other short women who dig short men. BUT you have to be a certain height to ride this ride. I like to be able to look up to my man even with heels on. Am I wrong? I seriously think something is in the water these days because men are not growing past 5'5". What gives? Eat some vegetables and grow up, literally!
Last we have your can't take a hint, just straight up wacker than wack guys. My BFF had the pleasure of being courted by an extra special specimen who felt it was appropriate to tell her he just finished serving a seven year jail sentence a couple months ago within minutes of meeting. Don't be too hard on him, he claims it was a case of mistaken identity. RIGHT?! Kudos again to women who can date men who are in or have been to jail. Yes, I do believe people change. BUT not in this case...you're automatically not trustworthy in my eyes, PERIOD! I'm sorry if that makes me a horrible, judgemental person. Don't blame me, blame the the society we live in.
So I think Sable will just be saying NO to clubs and lounges (b/c lounges are also the new clubs) from now on. Call me if there is a great house party or any other intimate event going on where I can see people in natural light and not have to shout over loud music, pay a cover charge, or not get a drink or gum splattered on me or have to deal with anything suggestive of a club.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
I was lurking on one of my favorite blogs the other day and I came across a post on Serena Williams. Sorry folks, I visit so many blogs that I can't quite recall which one it was (yes, I clearly have too much time on my hands at work...don't believe me check my blog list that I go through in entirety almost daily). But I digress! It wasn't the post on Serena Williams that particularly stood out for me. But that the author mentioned it is important to keep grinding because while you're fast asleep, someone else is WIDE AWAKE. Never get too comfortable!!! It got me to thinking of welcoming the idea of being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Now now, you're probably scratching your head...comfortable being uncomfortable? Yes, there is such a thing! I don't mean heading to the nearest theme park and riding the biggest, baddest roller coaster there or ordering the calamari at dinner...but stepping out of your mental and emotional comfort zones.
It's easy to get too comfortable with whatever you have going in your life that countless opportunities pass you by. You or someone you know is probably working a job right now that you don't like or maybe worse hate! Or you could be in a relationship that isn't working out. Sable is human and has made her share of faux pas. Par exemple...I always took the easy road in college, from the university I attended to the major I took up. While I value my education very much and acknowledge that obtaining a degree (any degree) is a major accomplishment, I realize now that I could have pushed myself a lot harder and succeeded if I stepped out of my comfort zone and didn't take the easy route. And like many ladies, I've entertained relationships/situationships out of comfort. I've been guilty of the "we've known each other for a long time (I'm in my mid twenties so anything over 2 years is a long time, forgive me!) why not syndrome? Who knows the countless Mr. Rights that I missed out on in the process of those episodes! Weakest arguments ever! Now that I have evolved and am enjoying life (on the happy, rational side of the fence), time is no longer factor in my decision making!!! I'm pushing myself towards an enrichening career and meaningful and only mutually beneficial relationships no matter how long it takes...though if I'm not at least upper mid level in my career and married in 7 years, we're going to have a problem...just kidding. I've learned that things happen when they're are supposed to happen and not always when we want them to happen...waiting patiently b/c the payout will be major!!!!
Like the age old saying goes, everything good to you isn't good for you. Why keep a job where you feel your brain atrophying by the minute or stay in a relationship that you're not appreciated in or doesn't enhance your life for the sake of being comfortable? We should always strive to challenge ourselves and do better because someone else is always two steps behind you waiting to take your shine...that promotion and your man! Keep sleeping and that someone could very well be me (I'm really not a man stealer... jobs are always up for grabs though)!
Until next time, Sable is comfortable being uncomfortable!!!! What will you be?
It's easy to get too comfortable with whatever you have going in your life that countless opportunities pass you by. You or someone you know is probably working a job right now that you don't like or maybe worse hate! Or you could be in a relationship that isn't working out. Sable is human and has made her share of faux pas. Par exemple...I always took the easy road in college, from the university I attended to the major I took up. While I value my education very much and acknowledge that obtaining a degree (any degree) is a major accomplishment, I realize now that I could have pushed myself a lot harder and succeeded if I stepped out of my comfort zone and didn't take the easy route. And like many ladies, I've entertained relationships/situationships out of comfort. I've been guilty of the "we've known each other for a long time (I'm in my mid twenties so anything over 2 years is a long time, forgive me!) why not syndrome? Who knows the countless Mr. Rights that I missed out on in the process of those episodes! Weakest arguments ever! Now that I have evolved and am enjoying life (on the happy, rational side of the fence), time is no longer factor in my decision making!!! I'm pushing myself towards an enrichening career and meaningful and only mutually beneficial relationships no matter how long it takes...though if I'm not at least upper mid level in my career and married in 7 years, we're going to have a problem...just kidding. I've learned that things happen when they're are supposed to happen and not always when we want them to happen...waiting patiently b/c the payout will be major!!!!
Like the age old saying goes, everything good to you isn't good for you. Why keep a job where you feel your brain atrophying by the minute or stay in a relationship that you're not appreciated in or doesn't enhance your life for the sake of being comfortable? We should always strive to challenge ourselves and do better because someone else is always two steps behind you waiting to take your shine...that promotion and your man! Keep sleeping and that someone could very well be me (I'm really not a man stealer... jobs are always up for grabs though)!
Until next time, Sable is comfortable being uncomfortable!!!! What will you be?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Riddle Me This?
Who are you Sable and what have you got to say? Well...long before Sasha Fierce, there was Sable. I know you're probably reading this (*blank stare*) and thinking to yourself not another hodgepodge blog and most certainly not another alter ego! Hear me out, Sable actually bares some significance to who I am (sorry Beyonce, lol) and the type of woman I represent today. My initials are S.A.B. like the first three letters of "Sable". "Sable" broken down into my mini abbreviation "S.Able" also represents that I am able to do any and everything that I put my mind to. Last but not least, "Sable" is also a fabulous and supple fur...so what better way to represent myself?! Ambitious, assertive, intelligent, enchanting and last but not least fabulous! Clever? I know! I wasn't always so grounded. I know (insert "gasps")! Like many others, I've endured my share of let downs and disappointments and made countless mistakes. As Oprah Winfrey once said, "There are no failures, only lessons to be learned". I'm greatful for every experience because they have molded me into the wonderful person I am and allow me the opportunity to share my words of wisdom (hence Sable Says) with you today. Touching isn't it? I know (insert "awwws").
I haven't quite decided on the direction that I'm going to take this blog in. For now it will be a medley of my take (hence Sable Says) on love, life, health, beauty, sex, fashion, music, and entertainment. I'll try my best to keep the posts short, sweet, and somewhat politically correct in 500 words or less (I know you're reading this at work and are getting paid to do more important things than read my posts all day long). Once I get more acclimated with posting, I promise to make the blog more visually stimulating. Hopefully, I won't offend too many people in the process of my rants (but if I do...just maybe you should stop being so sensitive and take heed to some of my suggestions). Without further adue, I present to you Sable Says!
I haven't quite decided on the direction that I'm going to take this blog in. For now it will be a medley of my take (hence Sable Says) on love, life, health, beauty, sex, fashion, music, and entertainment. I'll try my best to keep the posts short, sweet, and somewhat politically correct in 500 words or less (I know you're reading this at work and are getting paid to do more important things than read my posts all day long). Once I get more acclimated with posting, I promise to make the blog more visually stimulating. Hopefully, I won't offend too many people in the process of my rants (but if I do...just maybe you should stop being so sensitive and take heed to some of my suggestions). Without further adue, I present to you Sable Says!
What's In A Name?
That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. What matters most is what something is, not what it is called. Right? *Blank stare* No worries, I'm not going to go into a Shakespearean rhetoric. Just thought it would be a nice stepping stone to help me climb atop my soapbox for a hot second and discuss a recurring problem (ahem)... I mean topic that is becoming more and more visible in today's mating and dating game. What's the topic you ask? The absence of titles in "relationships". Maybe in the days of Romeo and Juliet where people only lived to be 17 years old, titles didn't matter. In 2009, when we now know that the infamous "rose" Shakespeare was referencing is really some poisonous flower that can kill you in 0.5 seconds, you bet your a** there is a lot to a name! So why should our approach to establishing names/titles in relationships be any different?
By no means am I encouraging folks to mention to a potential suitor on the first date you want to be married, have 2.5 kids and own a home in the suburbs like yesterday. But somewhere between meeting and the first few months of dating, you should have some idea of where you want or don't want to take things with the other person. If you do know, why should you be be afraid to vocalize it? If the other person has a hard time being mutually expressive or has blatantly admitted to you that they don't want the same things, you've probably been wasting the past 6 months or 6 years of your life on someone who has no intention of ever being with you. Please spare me...I mean yourself the mental and emotional anguish. Don't get mad when you find out she f****d your cousin or when he introduces you as just his "friend" for the umpteenth time at his umpteenth family barbeque. Or the one that gets me every time (ladies we're especially guilty of this one) "He hasn't called me in days/weeks"! How can you/why should you complain about a lack of communication when you haven't established a relationship? Silly me! (Insert side eye) For all you know they're just having fun and don't owe you anything...not an introduction, not a courtesy phone call, not a thank you. Nathan! Yes I said "nathan"! After all that ain't your girl or your man! Right? Harsh much? Nope, just being honest like we all need to be with ourselves! Remember if your name isn't on it, you don't own it. Who cares if you've been living in the place for the past three years, making your payments on time, buying furniture and hanging up pictures. It's not yours!
I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one but ladies and gents you know this deep down inside. We just have a hard time accepting the truth out of fear of feeling rejected and choose to ignore it. But rejection is an evitable part of dating that we will all experience at some point or another. Let's worry about being rejected where it counts...you know not getting accepted to that graduate program, or not landing the internship that would one day guarantee you your dream job, or not getting approved for that mortgage loan for your first home. There are several people out there for everyone...people who will trully value you and accept you for who and what you are and will most importantly claim you! If they're not doing any or all of the above, they're probably not worth your time. Do yourselves a favor and move on!
What say you? Will you continue to be nameless?
By no means am I encouraging folks to mention to a potential suitor on the first date you want to be married, have 2.5 kids and own a home in the suburbs like yesterday. But somewhere between meeting and the first few months of dating, you should have some idea of where you want or don't want to take things with the other person. If you do know, why should you be be afraid to vocalize it? If the other person has a hard time being mutually expressive or has blatantly admitted to you that they don't want the same things, you've probably been wasting the past 6 months or 6 years of your life on someone who has no intention of ever being with you. Please spare me...I mean yourself the mental and emotional anguish. Don't get mad when you find out she f****d your cousin or when he introduces you as just his "friend" for the umpteenth time at his umpteenth family barbeque. Or the one that gets me every time (ladies we're especially guilty of this one) "He hasn't called me in days/weeks"! How can you/why should you complain about a lack of communication when you haven't established a relationship? Silly me! (Insert side eye) For all you know they're just having fun and don't owe you anything...not an introduction, not a courtesy phone call, not a thank you. Nathan! Yes I said "nathan"! After all that ain't your girl or your man! Right? Harsh much? Nope, just being honest like we all need to be with ourselves! Remember if your name isn't on it, you don't own it. Who cares if you've been living in the place for the past three years, making your payments on time, buying furniture and hanging up pictures. It's not yours!
I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one but ladies and gents you know this deep down inside. We just have a hard time accepting the truth out of fear of feeling rejected and choose to ignore it. But rejection is an evitable part of dating that we will all experience at some point or another. Let's worry about being rejected where it counts...you know not getting accepted to that graduate program, or not landing the internship that would one day guarantee you your dream job, or not getting approved for that mortgage loan for your first home. There are several people out there for everyone...people who will trully value you and accept you for who and what you are and will most importantly claim you! If they're not doing any or all of the above, they're probably not worth your time. Do yourselves a favor and move on!
What say you? Will you continue to be nameless?
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