What's In A Name?

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. What matters most is what something is, not what it is called. Right? *Blank stare* No worries, I'm not going to go into a Shakespearean rhetoric. Just thought it would be a nice stepping stone to help me climb atop my soapbox for a hot second and discuss a recurring problem (ahem)... I mean topic that is becoming more and more visible in today's mating and dating game. What's the topic you ask? The absence of titles in "relationships". Maybe in the days of Romeo and Juliet where people only lived to be 17 years old, titles didn't matter. In 2009, when we now know that the infamous "rose" Shakespeare was referencing is really some poisonous flower that can kill you in 0.5 seconds, you bet your a** there is a lot to a name! So why should our approach to establishing names/titles in relationships be any different?

By no means am I encouraging folks to mention to a potential suitor on the first date you want to be married, have 2.5 kids and own a home in the suburbs like yesterday. But somewhere between meeting and the first few months of dating, you should have some idea of where you want or don't want to take things with the other person. If you do know, why should you be be afraid to vocalize it? If the other person has a hard time being mutually expressive or has blatantly admitted to you that they don't want the same things, you've probably been wasting the past 6 months or 6 years of your life on someone who has no intention of ever being with you. Please spare me...I mean yourself the mental and emotional anguish. Don't get mad when you find out she f****d your cousin or when he introduces you as just his "friend" for the umpteenth time at his umpteenth family barbeque. Or the one that gets me every time (ladies we're especially guilty of this one) "He hasn't called me in days/weeks"! How can you/why should you complain about a lack of communication when you haven't established a relationship? Silly me! (Insert side eye) For all you know they're just having fun and don't owe you anything...not an introduction, not a courtesy phone call, not a thank you. Nathan! Yes I said "nathan"! After all that ain't your girl or your man! Right? Harsh much? Nope, just being honest like we all need to be with ourselves! Remember if your name isn't on it, you don't own it. Who cares if you've been living in the place for the past three years, making your payments on time, buying furniture and hanging up pictures. It's not yours!

I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one but ladies and gents you know this deep down inside. We just have a hard time accepting the truth out of fear of feeling rejected and choose to ignore it. But rejection is an evitable part of dating that we will all experience at some point or another. Let's worry about being rejected where it counts...you know not getting accepted to that graduate program, or not landing the internship that would one day guarantee you your dream job, or not getting approved for that mortgage loan for your first home. There are several people out there for everyone...people who will trully value you and accept you for who and what you are and will most importantly claim you! If they're not doing any or all of the above, they're probably not worth your time. Do yourselves a favor and move on!

What say you? Will you continue to be nameless?